Sunday, January 24, 2010
Son of The Haunting In Karlsruhe
Okay, I took some pics and put them on facebook. You can view the album here
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Haunting in Karlsruhe
I generally consider myself to be a relatively skeptical person. Although I don't spend every waking moment in a state of profound Cartesian doubt, I am generally fairly quick to dismiss claims of the supernatural, unless they are backed up by a peer-reviewed scientific journal....but since that kind of thing doesn't happen, allow me to paraphrase a truly great film: I do not believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster or the theory of Atlantis. But sometimes there are things in this world that just seem to have a certain preternatural darkness about them.
Today I went running (okay, jogging....okay, fine, it was the Couch to 5k plan) and decided to make things a bit more interesting by taking an unknown route in the Schlossgarten (the big park around the palace). After hitting a few dead ends and almost getting run over by an absent-minded bicyclist, I began to notice an unfamiliar Gothic spire poking out of the trees ahead. I finished my allotted running time before reaching it, but decided to keep walking to get a better look.
What I saw was something almost out of an HP Lovecraft story: a crumbling, neo-Gothic structure seemingly alone amidst the trees, with a kind of quiet aura surrounding it that almost made me forget that I wasn't far from a major street. The gargoyles adorning the eves were positively grotesque (which is to say, totally awesome and really fucking metal \m/) and some of the windows had been broken out. The first word that came to mind was "cathedral" because we Americans are really quite easily impressed when it comes to things that are old and Gothic-looking, but upon further inspection the building seemed to be much too small to be described as such. The sign out front cheerfully suggested another word: "Grabkapelle." That is, a "sepulchral chapel."
Reading further I discovered that it had been built after the Grand Duke's youngest son died unexpectedly at a young age and had been built away from town so he could rest "in the solitude of the deep forest." A paper taped to the building itself offered a € 500 reward to anyone who had information regarding a man who had been savagely beaten by two unidentified people in the vicinity of the chapel. At this point I was expecting to hear a clap of thunder, see a murder of crows take off whilst cackling mercilessly and then catch a faint glimpse of an ethereal little boy in a blood-stained white tunic only to have him disappear into thin air in the blink of an eye. Seriously, it's hard for a situation to get any more haunted house than this.
I decided to have a look around and walked around the whole structure. At certain angles the various ornamental flourishes seemed to clump together in an almost menacing fashion. Upon reaching the front door of the chapel again, I realized I was not alone. Some one was sitting on the bench. He was...completely unmenacing in every way and that's about where my haunted house story ends.
After leaving, I couldn't decide whether or not I really, really wanted to stay away from it or really, really come back to it. I have decided the latter since the picture on its Wikipedia page is not appropriately menacing. As tomorrow is Saturday, I think I will probably go out and try to take some scary pictures. I'd like to avoid any demonic possession or savage beatings, so I will probably go during the day. Anyhow, that is all for now, hopefully I will get some cool pictures.
Today I went running (okay, jogging....okay, fine, it was the Couch to 5k plan) and decided to make things a bit more interesting by taking an unknown route in the Schlossgarten (the big park around the palace). After hitting a few dead ends and almost getting run over by an absent-minded bicyclist, I began to notice an unfamiliar Gothic spire poking out of the trees ahead. I finished my allotted running time before reaching it, but decided to keep walking to get a better look.
What I saw was something almost out of an HP Lovecraft story: a crumbling, neo-Gothic structure seemingly alone amidst the trees, with a kind of quiet aura surrounding it that almost made me forget that I wasn't far from a major street. The gargoyles adorning the eves were positively grotesque (which is to say, totally awesome and really fucking metal \m/) and some of the windows had been broken out. The first word that came to mind was "cathedral" because we Americans are really quite easily impressed when it comes to things that are old and Gothic-looking, but upon further inspection the building seemed to be much too small to be described as such. The sign out front cheerfully suggested another word: "Grabkapelle." That is, a "sepulchral chapel."
Reading further I discovered that it had been built after the Grand Duke's youngest son died unexpectedly at a young age and had been built away from town so he could rest "in the solitude of the deep forest." A paper taped to the building itself offered a € 500 reward to anyone who had information regarding a man who had been savagely beaten by two unidentified people in the vicinity of the chapel. At this point I was expecting to hear a clap of thunder, see a murder of crows take off whilst cackling mercilessly and then catch a faint glimpse of an ethereal little boy in a blood-stained white tunic only to have him disappear into thin air in the blink of an eye. Seriously, it's hard for a situation to get any more haunted house than this.
I decided to have a look around and walked around the whole structure. At certain angles the various ornamental flourishes seemed to clump together in an almost menacing fashion. Upon reaching the front door of the chapel again, I realized I was not alone. Some one was sitting on the bench. He was...completely unmenacing in every way and that's about where my haunted house story ends.
After leaving, I couldn't decide whether or not I really, really wanted to stay away from it or really, really come back to it. I have decided the latter since the picture on its Wikipedia page is not appropriately menacing. As tomorrow is Saturday, I think I will probably go out and try to take some scary pictures. I'd like to avoid any demonic possession or savage beatings, so I will probably go during the day. Anyhow, that is all for now, hopefully I will get some cool pictures.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
We Have Such Sequels To Show You!
Some couples dress alike. Others watch the same horror franchise top to bottom regardless of how bad the sequels get. Brenna and I belong, apparently, in the latter group. Our discussion of the third Hellraiser film sparked an interest in seeing the whole series through, for better or for worse. Despite largely agreeing with her analysis of the films, I felt like offering up my own opinion just for...well...the hell of it.
Anywho, just as scholars of classical music have divided the works of the old Ludwig van into early, middle and late periods, so will I apply a similar categorical approach to the Hellraiser films based on the role that Pinhead plays, despite the fact that the only consistent element in all 8 movies is actor Doug Bradley (and also that the V-VIII are direct-to-video low budget horror films rather than transcendent works of art for all the ages, but I digress).
These films are the strongest in the series due to the fact that the Pinhead and his cronies are simply shown to be "explorers in the further regions of experience" rather than vengeful ghosts or people who had crappy childhoods that for some reason led to them putting on masks and stabbing topless teenage girls. In keeping with the idea that the Cenobites are "demons to some, angels to others," Pinhead and co are largely indifferent to the concepts of good and evil and thus the Lament Configuration serves as a kind of metaphor for absolute freedom (in the Nietzscheian sense...well at least from I read on his Wikipedia page...I should probably double check with my little brother), human curiosity and hedonism, with a healthy dose of sadomasochism thrown in for good measure.
Whereas lesser horror films of the time *cough*Friday the 13th sucked, even the original*cough* presented us with pornographically violent morality plays, the early Hellraiser films concerned themselves with the hidden, dark desires lurking inside of otherwise normal people. Unfortunately, the second film introduces the concept of people being turned (rather quickly,I might add) into Cenobites, which opens the door to a bunch of preposterous twists later in the series.
The third and fourth installments of the series distinguish themselves by casting Pinhead as a more straight-up agent of evil and having a somewhat goofier tone (Hellraiser....IN SPACE!) overall. While not as interesting as the first two films, they are largely enjoyable to watch. Here are some pros and cons of the films from this period:
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
Pros: Terry Farrell (aka Jadzia Dax from Deep Space Nine) is the main character, Pinhead ruins a ridiculous amount of people, Armored Saint feature prominently in the film, a music video of Lemmy von Motörhead playing poker against Pinhead was made
Cons: New Cenobites suck (upon cornering our heroine they kick her in the shins and burn her with a cigarette...pretty weak seeing as we just saw 200+ people get torn apart with hooks), Pinhead chases Terry Farrel for like 30 minutes and succeeds in blowing up everything *except* her (leading to many "WTF?"s yelled at the screen)
Hellraiser: Bloodline
Pros: In space, fat guy who follows hot demon chick to the basement is probably the best character ever ("You're a dream!")
Cons: In space, finding out so much about the origin of the box kills some of the mystique, directed by Alan Smithee.
This is where things get messy and the films get released direct to video. All of these movies feature Pinhead for about 10 minutes tops and he spends most of his time wagging his finger at the characters and essentially playing the part of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come...although then again the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come generally doesn't tear people apart with hooks, but that's a minor detail.
Anyway, all of these films suffer from way too many dream sequences and hallucinations, which get old quick and take the scare value out of the scenes since you eventually just assume that anytime something horrific happens, it's not real. These films also have too many quick cuts and plot twists and not nearly enough story or character development, which leaves us with movies three times more fractured than Momento with none of the pay off. The only one of the bunch that I found enjoyable was Hellraiser: Hellworld and even that was purely for the cheese factor and the fact that Lance Henriksen was in it.
So, in order from most to least enjoyable:
1. Hellraiser
2. Hellbound: Hellraiser II
3. A tie between Hellraiser III and Hellraiser IV: Bloodline
4. Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld
5. Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (only because of Kirsty, though she wasn't in it enough)
6. Hellraiser VII: Deader
7. Hellraiser V: Inferno
Anyhow, I've already spent wayyy too much time writing this instead of doing something productive, so I'd better get to that.
Anywho, just as scholars of classical music have divided the works of the old Ludwig van into early, middle and late periods, so will I apply a similar categorical approach to the Hellraiser films based on the role that Pinhead plays, despite the fact that the only consistent element in all 8 movies is actor Doug Bradley (and also that the V-VIII are direct-to-video low budget horror films rather than transcendent works of art for all the ages, but I digress).
The Early Period (Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser II)
These films are the strongest in the series due to the fact that the Pinhead and his cronies are simply shown to be "explorers in the further regions of experience" rather than vengeful ghosts or people who had crappy childhoods that for some reason led to them putting on masks and stabbing topless teenage girls. In keeping with the idea that the Cenobites are "demons to some, angels to others," Pinhead and co are largely indifferent to the concepts of good and evil and thus the Lament Configuration serves as a kind of metaphor for absolute freedom (in the Nietzscheian sense...well at least from I read on his Wikipedia page...I should probably double check with my little brother), human curiosity and hedonism, with a healthy dose of sadomasochism thrown in for good measure.
Whereas lesser horror films of the time *cough*Friday the 13th sucked, even the original*cough* presented us with pornographically violent morality plays, the early Hellraiser films concerned themselves with the hidden, dark desires lurking inside of otherwise normal people. Unfortunately, the second film introduces the concept of people being turned (rather quickly,I might add) into Cenobites, which opens the door to a bunch of preposterous twists later in the series.
The Middle Period (Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth and Hellraiser: Bloodline)
The third and fourth installments of the series distinguish themselves by casting Pinhead as a more straight-up agent of evil and having a somewhat goofier tone (Hellraiser....IN SPACE!) overall. While not as interesting as the first two films, they are largely enjoyable to watch. Here are some pros and cons of the films from this period:
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
Pros: Terry Farrell (aka Jadzia Dax from Deep Space Nine) is the main character, Pinhead ruins a ridiculous amount of people, Armored Saint feature prominently in the film, a music video of Lemmy von Motörhead playing poker against Pinhead was made
Cons: New Cenobites suck (upon cornering our heroine they kick her in the shins and burn her with a cigarette...pretty weak seeing as we just saw 200+ people get torn apart with hooks), Pinhead chases Terry Farrel for like 30 minutes and succeeds in blowing up everything *except* her (leading to many "WTF?"s yelled at the screen)
Hellraiser: Bloodline
Pros: In space, fat guy who follows hot demon chick to the basement is probably the best character ever ("You're a dream!")
Cons: In space, finding out so much about the origin of the box kills some of the mystique, directed by Alan Smithee.
The Late Period (Hellraiser: Inferno through Hellraiser: Hellworld)
This is where things get messy and the films get released direct to video. All of these movies feature Pinhead for about 10 minutes tops and he spends most of his time wagging his finger at the characters and essentially playing the part of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come...although then again the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come generally doesn't tear people apart with hooks, but that's a minor detail.
Anyway, all of these films suffer from way too many dream sequences and hallucinations, which get old quick and take the scare value out of the scenes since you eventually just assume that anytime something horrific happens, it's not real. These films also have too many quick cuts and plot twists and not nearly enough story or character development, which leaves us with movies three times more fractured than Momento with none of the pay off. The only one of the bunch that I found enjoyable was Hellraiser: Hellworld and even that was purely for the cheese factor and the fact that Lance Henriksen was in it.
So, in order from most to least enjoyable:
1. Hellraiser
2. Hellbound: Hellraiser II
3. A tie between Hellraiser III and Hellraiser IV: Bloodline
4. Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld
5. Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (only because of Kirsty, though she wasn't in it enough)
6. Hellraiser VII: Deader
7. Hellraiser V: Inferno
Anyhow, I've already spent wayyy too much time writing this instead of doing something productive, so I'd better get to that.
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